Just as we are getting used to being a family of three, soon we shall be two again...
I haven't mentioned this before, because to be honest I think I've been in denial, but Jim is off to Afghanistan in a few weeks and shall be away throughout the long Scottish winter and into the spring. I have very mixed feelings about it. I should say first off that I understand totally his desire to go and to do the job he spends so much of his career rehearsing for, and I also know that I've been especially lucky for him not to have done a full deployment till now, but I can't help thinking if only it were over the summer! If only Theo was a bit older! If only it had been before Theo was born and I was still working! If only I wasn't living 500 miles from my family!
But it is what it is! In the meantime (and not to in any way belittle the serious task ahead) it is as though there is a rather enthusiastic Boy Scout preparing for a camping trip in this house. Every day there are new bits of kit being brought home, tried on, washed, or laid out in the spare room ready for packing. There are badges to sew on to bits of uniform (that's my job) and various essential things that keep being purchased, like (I kid you not) a Christmas jumper, copies of GQ and a Kindle.
Of course it's a war zone and a serious job, but don't ever forget the British military are the best in the world at finding light relief in hard times and carting ludicrous luxury items to a combat zone.
And of course the thing most people reading this are probably wondering is, am I scared for his safety? And the answer is... not yet. I am very fortunately not married to someone who is going to be doing one of the incredibly difficult and dangerous jobs in Helmand, so rather ludicrously my big concerns are all domestic, like how I will juggle two dogs and a pram on a daily walk, in the snow, on my own...
Perhaps it is in fact the daily drudge of domesticity that will keep me sane in the end? That and being occupied with a whole load of Christmas presents I need to make in the next two months... So anyway my bloggy friends, if you can, please stand with me on the months ahead, I suspect I shall need a space to vent in the bad times, and some warm comments about photos, babies and sewing in the good...
I don't think there isn't anyone these days who doesn't know someone or the family of someone who has a family member in Iraq or Afghanistan ~~ My niece has been to Afghanistan twice, and I tried not to worry too much about her, at least not too much....But it does help to have those who understand and have their support--Even though we've never met, you have mine! Know that I'm out here, and will keep you and your husband and your family in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteCertainly not an enviable position Clare but definitely one that you WILL get through as many before you have done.
ReplyDeleteI'm always at the end of a keyboard when you feel the need to share that you've had 'one of those days' and don't worry, the older Theo gets, the less time you'll have to dwell on the fact that it's just the two of you ;-)
I don't think there is ever an easy time for them to go but definitely not just after having your first baby. I feel for you and will also be at the end of a keyboard for you.
ReplyDeleteHaving your blog will definitely make a difference and will be a good place to offload. We will all be here to get excited each time Theo does something new or you accomplish something by yourself like the dogs and pram :-)
What on earth does he need a Christmas jumper for though? haha x
count on me. I'll be here (not in a proper space context, though I'd love to... but in this virtual space)
ReplyDeleteHi Clare, I know just how you feel - in a slightly different sort of way, my darling boy was sent to Afghanistan over Christmas 08/09 and it was the worst time of my life! But with the help of my family and friends I got through it and so did he! Never forget we out here in Blog-land are with you ALL the way (as will your family where ever they are.)You will get through it and you are NOT ALONE, we as women are stronger than we think especially when we are united! You, Jim and Theo and will be in my thoughts and prayers
ReplyDeleteLorraine
Monkey Business and Quilts
I was very lucky in that my husband never had to go away anywhere dangerous - but he had 3 trips to the Falklands. Luckily for me it was only the once when the boys were small - my youngest was 2 at the time. One thing I remember is that he got hold of a video camera from somewhere and filmed the islands, his room, his work etc and sent the tape home. It broke my eldest sons heart to watch it (I am getting upset just thinking about it) as seeing his Dad on the TV brought it home that he missed him and it did make the last few weeks of his tour harder. Like you my family was (and still is) a long way away but you will get through it - keep busy and the time will seem to go past just that little bit quicker. x
ReplyDeleteThat must be such a difficult prospect for you. Know that you have all of us virtually standing beside you! And on a practical note, you'll never manage a pram in the snow, let alone two dogs at the same time ... I suggest a sling for Theo, and some sturdy wellies for you!
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, it's daunting being a new mummy and doing it solo miles from family. Himself was away when Mattie was born and the first 4 months or so afterwards; ironically he did me a favour! I could concentrate on the baby without having to worry about anybody else. I got myself into a routine and set daily goals and the time flew by.
ReplyDelete